The Art of Selling Without Feeling Salesy

Rethinking What It Means to “Sell”

One of the biggest fears people have when starting an online business is selling. The word itself feels uncomfortable. Maybe you picture the pushy car salesperson who won’t let you leave the lot. Or the door-to-door rep who keeps talking even after you’ve said “no.”

The truth is, nobody likes being sold to. But here’s the flip side: everybody loves buying. We love finding products, tools, and services that make our lives easier, better, or more enjoyable. The real art of selling isn’t about pressure — it’s about service.

In this week’s discussion, we’ll break down how to sell without feeling salesy by looking at three areas:

1. Why People Hate “Selling” (and What to Do Instead) – The mindset shift that changes everything.
2. How to Sell Through Story and Value – The methods that build trust and make sales natural.
3. The Subtle Skills That Make People Want to Buy From You – Turning conversations into conversions without manipulation that create an opportunity for a sale.

Let’s break it down.

Section 1: Why People Hate “Selling” (and What to Do Instead)

Traditional sales or what is referred to “the old model of selling“, often meant high-pressure tactics:

• Scripts designed to trap people into saying yes.
• Guilt or urgency used to push quick decisions.
• A focus on closing the deal instead of solving a problem.

No wonder so many people associate sales with discomfort.

When I started my career, I was a sales representative for a Telex company (if that doesn’t age me, I don’t know what will), and I was fortunate enough to have been sent to a Bob Proctor sales training course. It not only opened my mind to how I needed to keep myself in a positive state of mind but the audio-cassette (good grief, I’m old LOL!) that came with the course helped me keep myself focused on my client and answering his needs and not my sale.

But the internet and the online business format it helped create has changed the game. Today, people don’t want to be pushed, they want to be guided.

Reframing Sales as Service

Here’s a real mindset shift: Selling isn’t convincing someone to buy. It’s helping them make the right decision for themselves.

Think about it:

• If you know your product or affiliate offer can genuinely help someone, isn’t it your responsibility to share it?
• If you stay silent because you don’t want to “sound salesy,” aren’t you actually holding back a solution they need?

When you see sales as a service, everything changes. You’re no longer “pushing.” You’re simply connecting people with something valuable that can radically change their lives for the better. How can that not be something great?

Why People Buy

To take the pressure off yourself, remember this: People buy for their reasons, not yours.

• They don’t buy the drill, they buy the hole in the wall.
• They don’t buy the workout program, they buy the feeling of confidence being in shape will bring them.
• They don’t buy the online course, they buy the transformation it promises. Don’t want to put any pressure here but if you believe that you have what it takes for them to change their lives, I believe that it’s your duty to offer it to them.

The takeaway: Stop thinking about “closing the sale.” Start thinking about solving a problem or better yet, fulfilling a desire those you’re offering your product to most likely have.

Section 2: How to Sell Through Story and Value

If sales is service, then the tools of selling aren’t pushy tactics. They’re storytelling, education, and connection.

The Power of Story

Facts tell, but stories sell. Why? Because stories activate emotion. They make your offer relatable. It makes the person also relate to you in a way that they’ll think that you’ve lived the same thing or went through the same thing they are currently going through.

• Instead of saying, “This software saves time,” tell a story: “I used to spend three hours on reports. Now, it takes me 15 minutes — and I finally have my evenings back.”
• Instead of saying, “This supplement boosts your energy,” say, “I went from needing three cups of coffee to actually enjoying mornings again.”

Stories turn features into lived experiences. They paint a picture of what life could look like for your customer.

Educate, Don’t Pressure

One of the easiest ways to sell without selling is to teach first. When you provide value through content, videos, blog posts, or live streams, people naturally see you as an authority. And when you recommend a product, it feels less like a pitch and more like trusted advice.

For example:

• If you’re in affiliate marketing, don’t just drop a link. Create a “how-to” guide or product comparison. Show the audience how the tool works and why it’s useful. Give them your “pro’s” and ‘con’s”; that way they’ll see that you actually tried the product or at minimum know a lot more about it and can be considered a subject matter expert (SME).
• If you’re selling a service, share free tips that prove your expertise. Show how well you can provide the support that will be needed if they purchase it. Then, when you mention your paid offer, it feels like the natural next step for your potential customer.

Give Before You Ask

The “give first” rule is powerful. Free value builds goodwill and trust. I remember so many times hearing the phrase “what’s in it for me?” and shaking my head. I do know that every time I placed that rule of “giving first”, at the forefront of my mind when I was selling or helping out, I’d always get so much more out of it all.

That being said, giving first when it comes to selling could mean:

• Offering a free checklist or template:
  • • Something very easily drafted or even copied from something you’ve already created. Remember though, don’t copy what someone else created!
• Hosting a free workshop or Q&A:
  • • OK, this might be for someone a little more comfortable in front of a camera but the Q&A can be something with just your voice and chat being open. That can lead to a workshop once you’re more comfortable in front of the camera.
• Sharing insights people can use right away:
  • • This is probably the easiest one to do. Remember all those blog entries from past weeks? Stack them together and create a PDF document and voilà! You’ve got something you can provide to probably someone who didn’t have the chance to read it before.

When people receive value upfront, they’re far more open to buying later because you’ve already helped them.

The takeaway: Selling becomes natural when you tell stories, educate, and give before you ask. You’ll find yourself wanting to do this more and more as you progress and guess what will happen? That’s right, you’ll be selling without sounding salesy.

Section 3: The Subtle Skills That Make People Want to Buy From You

Selling without being salesy also comes down to good communication. I was chatting with a colleague about this a few weeks ago. He felt that since he changed his format to one that was more communicative and using stories, he was in a better position; heck, he even forgot to sell!

Here are 5 skills that I’ve learnt are not only the base of becoming a great “salesperson without being salesy” because they focus on the person in front of you and not you or your need to sell.

Skill 1: Ask More Questions Than You Answer

My grandfather used to tell me that “there’s a reason why you have two ears and only one mouth Marc… You need to listen twice as much as you speak”. Growing up, I’ve definitely tried to keep that in mind and although I can become quite chatty and I don’t mind giving my two cents at times, I’ve looked to listen more and talk less as much as I could.

That being said, instead of jumping right into a pitch when talking with someone, start with curiosity. Ask them:

• “What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing with ___?”
• “What would success look like for you in the next 3 months?”
• “Have you tried other solutions? What worked, what didn’t?”

When you ask questions, you discover what people actually want. Then, instead of “selling,” you’re simply connecting them to the right solution and that my friend, is golden and they’ll definitely love you for it!

Skill 2: Use “You” Language

Here’s a reality check for you: People care about themselves. They don’t care about you. Ok, maybe you were already aware of this. So, instead of talking about your product or yourself, talk about what it means for them. What’s in it for them.

• Not: “This program has 10 modules.”
• But: “You’ll be able to go step by step through all the modules without feeling overwhelmed.”
• Not: “Support is provided all the way.”
• But: “Support is provided all through each modules, including Q&A periods so that all your questions are answered.”

This shifts the spotlight from the product to the customer’s experience and from talking about yourself to what they need or are looking for.

Skill 3: Create Gentle Urgency

Urgency doesn’t have to feel manipulative. Done well, it creates clarity and helps people make decisions. For example:

• “Enrollment closes Friday so I can give personal attention to everyone who joins.”
• “This discount is available until midnight.”

Notice the difference: it’s about respecting boundaries and helping people decide, not pressuring them.

Skill 4: Show Social Proof

Most of the times, people don’t want to be the first to try something. Don’t be afraid to show them that others have gone before by providing:

• Testimonials
• Case studies
• Screenshots of real results

Social proof reassures potential buyers that they’re making a safe choice and that they can trust you. As previously mentioned in a past blog entry Building Trust Online, trust is something that is so hard to earn yet so many don’t take the time to create the environment required for trust to grow. Let’s not forget, trust is also very easily lost. Remember that.

Skill 5: Focus on Long-Term Relationships

The goal isn’t just one sale. It’s a relationship. If you sell with integrity, customers come back again and again. They trust your recommendations because they know you wouldn’t steer them wrong.

I’ve been surrounded by Dean Hollands team for over three years now and one thing that has come across from all of them: trust is something they cherish and don’t take likely when it comes to the development of the relationship they have with their customers. They expect the same from all of us working with them.

The takeaway: Sales isn’t a performance. It’s a conversation, built on listening, empathy, and trust.

Conclusion: Serving, Not Selling

When people say, “I don’t want to be salesy,” what they really mean is, “I don’t want to feel fake or pushy.” The good news? You don’t have to.

The art of selling without feeling salesy is about shifting from pressure to service. It’s about telling stories, teaching, asking questions, and focusing on what the other person needs. When you do that, sales stop feeling awkward. They feel like helping.

So this week, challenge yourself:

• Instead of pitching, share a story.
• Instead of pushing, ask a question.
• Instead of aiming to close, aim to serve.

Because at the end of the day, selling isn’t about you. It’s about them. And when you put service first, sales take care of themselves.

Like what you’re reading or have any questions? Don’t be shy, write it up in the comments section for me to reply and more importantly, don’t forget to subscribe to my blog for continuous insights and tips.

Trust the journey – victories await along the way!